For the approximately 20,000 people in the U.S. alone who each year have unintentionally caused a death, little information or professional support is available. The resulting sense of isolation and lack of capable guidance around how to heal and move forward has complicated recovery from this traumatic event. Fortunately, information and human resources have begun to emerge. Going it alone is no longer the only choice.
I have over 30 years of professional experience directly supporting individuals from all walks of life in immediate post-trauma stabilization and long-term recovery. I am dedicated to being skillfully present with individuals in pain. My familiarity with the recovery process of individuals who have unintentionally caused a death began over 45 years ago, after an 8-year-old boy ran in front of the car of a close family member, Dr. Maryann Jacobi Gray, Founder of accidentalimpacts.org.
Just as the body knows how to heal a cut and to return our temperature to normal, the body-mind knows how to restabilize itself after an emotional injury. UDRV is a flexible emotional education curriculum designed to facilitate post-incident rebalancing for adults over age 18. Most importantly, UDRV centers on a professional relationship in which I serve as a compassionate, informed, skilled, and experienced guide on your post-incident recovery path. The relationship, as I always explain at the outset, is based on a sincere and time-tested invitation to each person with whom I work: “ALL OF YOU (whatever you’ve got, including the parts that you don’t like or want) IS WELCOME HERE.”
UDRV work, both short and long-term, may be scheduled at weekly or bi-weekly intervals if needed, as well as for short-term future support. It is not intended to be, or to supplant, mental health assessment and treatment.
An updated, comprehensive, highly regarded, and internationally utilized website, Accidentalimpacts.org, is dedicated to capably addressing the information, support, and recovery needs of individuals it refers to as CADIs – individuals who have caused accidental death or injury.
A thorough and in-depth New Yorker article, The Sorrow and Shame of the Accidental Killer: How Do You Live After Unintentionally Causing a Death, provides a well-researched, compassionate, and fully human treatment of a subject needing the light of day.
A YouTube TEDx Talk, It Hurts to Hurt Someone, presents the personal experience and sage counsel of a social psychologist, writer, and university administrator, Dr. Maryann Jacobi Gray who, at age 22, unintentionally caused the death of an 8-year-old boy who ran in front of her car.
Where can I find some ease within or around this experience — just as it is?